Tip my 40 to your memory…

This was posted on my facebook and felt like posting this here as well.

To anyone who as ever got a ride from me, whether you are in PYC or not, I am sorry to say but my Van has finally died and we are donating the car to a charity. I cannot name how many people have sat in that van from PYC, Liwanag, FSU, LFS, Kapwamilia, friends i’ve made to Family members. unfortunately it is the end of an era and this is sort of a eulogy and a dedication to a fine automobile who has played a great role in changing many lives. Whether it was a ride home, to school, to a meeting, carrying loads of sound equipment, or the massive amounts of abuse that car has taken it has stayed strong until now. Many great moments have been made possible because of that van like secret PYC advisor meetings, llegally dumping belongings because a friend had no other way to get rid of stuff while moving out, Someone (I will not be naming) throwing up in the back seat when they said they were ok coming home from a club at 4AM, driving around Golden Gate Park late at night with scared people or just the conversations that were had in it. I don’t know what I will be driving from now on and I appreciate the use of my brother’s car for now but I will say that that van was special and I tip my 40 to its memory… you had a good run…

Mayonaise & Coffee??? say what?!

The last time I posted I talked a lot about not living in the past so much and how I need to move on. I really do, but there is something from my past that I have forgotten that helped me come a long way. I used to have a certain philosophy on life and it helped me keep things in perspective. I need to bring that back. So as a reminder i’m gonna post this story here just as I did before on my Xanga so that it keeps coming back to help me.

The Mayonnaise Jar and Two Cups of Coffee

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in
a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the two cups of
coffee.

=============================

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous “yes”.

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

“Now,” said the professor, as the laughter subsided, ” I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.

The golf balls are the important things in life. Your God, your family, your children, your health, your friends, and your favorite passions: things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your car.

The sand is everything else: the small stuff.

“If you put the sand into the jar first,” he continued, “there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.

Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean house and fix the disposal.

Take care of the golf balls first; the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. “I’m glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.”

The Comeback of the Carabao Kid

Don’t Call It a Comeback… I been here for years…

Yeah, I’m currently sitting on a toilet listening to LL Cool J and decided to finally come back to this. I’ve been away for a while and now i’m back again. My life going back to SF State hasn’t been without its bumps here and there but then sometimes bumps, curves and dips can make a road more… interesting is a good word.  In my previous post I talked a lot about my past but I think that’s starting to be a problem for me, I am always thinking about the past and although I acknowledge that it’s always important to look back I also need to move forward as well. So where to start with this… I am currently knee deep at State, It’s November in Fall 2009 and I realized that I’ve been spending a lot of this semester pretty reactive rather than proactive which hasn’t got me good results. I started out the semester great, turning in assignments on time, showing up to class consistently and then BAM like a Mack Truck Furlough Day hit me like a Ton of Bricks. I’m not trying to make excuses but really my rhythm of everything leading up to that was just ruined in the span of a week. So now i’m left playing catch up again… which in the past was nothing new and not even hard… IN THE PAST… but NOW I’m trying to build my rhythm back up again.

Along with rhythm my mental health has been breaking down as well. I know a lot of old Filipinos don’t think Mental Health is important or refuse to talk about things such as depression because the topic is traditionally taboo but really that stuff does affect the new generation of Filipinos out there. Unfortunately most members of my family is dealing with some sort of depression as well and when one of us is down we cannot depend on one another for support like a real family should because selfishly a lot of us only think of our own depression or struggles to try to offer support. I’m gonna get off the topic of my family tho, talk too much about them and it’s the belt or the slipper… you know how it goes… Taboo.

I Know some people will wonder about the Title so i’m gonna break it down.

“Although there is no law that decrees the carabao to be a national symbol in the Philippines it is generally considered by most Filipinos to be their national animal”

So wassup with the Carabao Kid?

Al Robles is the Carabao Kid. He passed away May 2009 and he was a pillar of strengh and inspiration for Filipino American Poets, Writers, and Activists. I miss the guy and I hope in my AAS 363 class final show we honor him respectfully and with his spirit in mind as well.

So What does that have to do with me? I feel connected to the man even though i’ve only been able to meet him a few times. It’s kind of funny, when I was in High School my Band teacher used to call me The Carabao all the time and I had no idea who Al was at the time but in name I feel that has a connection. Al was a selfless guy, a well of knowledge, always caring about the well being of others instead of letting himself be the center of attention. I’m not trying to be the next Al Robles especially with my sub-par writing. Al is more than his writing, and I hope i can carry on that spirit of his. Which is why I am thinking of him now, It’s November and i’ve been dwelling on just my short comings this semester. It’s time for me to put things in motion and start busting some moves because it’s not about me and my short comings, I have a lot to share to make the people around me better and I need to start doing that. Knowledge is useless unless it is shared and utilized. I’ve hit my low this semester and it’s time to climb. so Uncle Al, I need some help but I know you got my back just like how I always leave you an open seat every time i’m at Serramonte just like you asked me.

Fall Semester… prepare to get hit with a Haymaker by Big Vic and One Punch Al!

Round 3… FIGHT!

So, this is my third attempt at keeping a blog which is kind of funny considering that I am now on WordPress, before that i had livejournal and before that i had xanga. For some reason I start blogs and after a while i leave them and neglect them, I’m like the deadbeat husband of blogs n shit. So why am I back? I have no clue really. My friend Lyle who likes blogging suggested I get a wordpress and I came up with some BS excuses not to like i couldn’t come up with a good name, even though off the top of my head i came up with like 5 decent ones. Then my other friend AJ was talking to me a lot about starting a blog as well so now i’m here finally writing in this new thing.

The first time I ever wrote in a blog was November 27th 2002 and it was in my xanga. It’s crazy how time flies, it’s 2009 and 2002 is a long ass time ago. Back then I seemed so optimistic and just young in general. In my first entry back then I was amazed at what a “turducken” was and how John Madden showed it off to the world on Monday Night Football. I also wrote about school at the time being in beginning badminton, musicianship, and Jazz History. It’s funny too because in that entry I wrote about how I’m going to get an A on my test on Duke Ellington. I remember back then I used to know so much about Jazz music and Jazz history which is also crazy because I got an A in that Jazz History class but i never bought the book or anything. I almost feel like I don’t know anything about Duke Ellington anymore hahaha. I’m sure if I really tried, i could probably remember some stuff like Duke Ellington’s signature song was “Take the A Train” but he didn’t write the song, Billy Strayhorn did.

*2 hours later*

Yeah, i did everything above at home but am now at Liwanag Kultural Center. There is a Photography workshop tonight hosted by Kalayaan School for Equity. It seems like pretty interesting stuff but i don’t own a camera (not a point and shoot at least) at the moment. It seems like that’s the story of my life at the moment, I am constantly reminded of the “have and the have nots” with usually seeing things as everyone else having and me not having anything. I am really trying hard to not see things in a negative way but due to a few things it makes it difficult. Currently I am not working, running out of money/pretty much broke, I do have a job to go back to in a few weeks and school as well. The down side to that is stuff has happened where i no longer feel comfortable around my work and in terms of school i’m just coming off of Academic Probation so this semester is IT for me, I cannot fuck this up or my academic life is over. so i’m poor, loads of pressure, and it’s not even a comfortable working environment anymore. not to mention I am STILL single and yeah i won’t get started on that just yet. but yeah, i’m trying to be positive. I am still alive and pretty healthy for a guy that weighs like 300 pounds. Robert moved back to the Bay. so things aren’t too bad but they definitely could be much better. i think i will stop this for now, i hope i maintain this thing for at least as long as i wrote in my Xanga.

Xanga (2002-2007)

LiveJournal (2008) crap! not even a year of blogging on that thing!

WordPress (2009 – who knows)

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